Wild Plums

02/12/2012

Single Flatmate Seeks…

…similarly singular Flatmate.
Flatmate must comply with the following:

1)Single with no future relationships on the cards.
2) Wishes to have fun single times such as clubbing and making friends (just friends!)
3) Enjoys complaining about the public displays of affection of couples.
4)Will only spend money of themselves and friends.
5)Remind us of the positives of being single.

If you are a match to the above please save me now I don’t think I can abide another evening being surrounded by couples!

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01/12/2012

A room to meditate and forget all those bad things! Instillation by Yayoi Kusama

A room to meditate and forget all those bad things! Instillation by Yayoi Kusama

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24/11/2012

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Dear Santa, I hope you think I’ve been a good girl this year. I was hoping you might be able to send me one of these chaps gift wrapped. If not I’d be rather smitten with just the calendar. 

Thank you in advance!

Dear Santa, I hope you think I’ve been a good girl this year. I was hoping you might be able to send me one of these chaps gift wrapped. If not I’d be rather smitten with just the calendar.

Thank you in advance!

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Please do!

Please do!

(Source: just-the-average)

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Male Escorts

There comes a time (usually through boredom come curiosity) when a woman thinks “I’d like a bit of company tonight but i don’t want to go out”. So she types in ‘male escort’. The results…interesting to say the least.

There are a selection of amateur type sites where any man can put his body…ahem…I mean company for anyone to request for an evening. Prices vary from £30 per hour to £100 (those with reasonable model-esque pictures charge such a price). The majority were very average looking men and the sites themselves looking a little dubious. Unsatisfied with these offerings I continued my search and came across more professional outfits but oh my lord…the cost! £200 per hour and a minimum order of 3hrs! I cannot fathom why the lack of quality and the difference in price from that of the female counterpart is quite so vast!

For the time being girls I think we’re best off putting on a bit of lippy and heading down the local. You’ll probably see me there trying to pull in my jogging bottoms!

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03/05/2012

It’s all about classic beauty. Femme Fatale - Princess Aura from Flash Gordon 1980.

It’s all about classic beauty. Femme Fatale - Princess Aura from Flash Gordon 1980.

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25/04/2012

Banned Words - ‘Complicated’

I have found of late I am now banning the use of certain words when meeting/dating people. The first on the list (I hope there are not more, but I suspect there will be) is ‘complicated’ particularly when used in the following sentence:

"I’m kinda complicated"

Here we go, what possible thing in your life could make you ‘complicated’, you have financial worries, a major health problem…in my experience it’s none of those, it’s always ‘erm…me and my ex…’ That’s when it starts to fall apart just when you thought “Oh this is nice, I’m enjoying this…”

I’m not one to dismiss someone instantly, in many ways I’m too patient with people. I’m cool with you living with your ex, I’m cool with the fact you’re seperated and doing you’re own things. What I’m not cool with is a) you haven’t told her you’re dating again b) I’m you’re dirty little secret / fuck buddy / rebound fuck c) You’re selfish in hurting me and her.

Come back to me when you’re ‘simple’!

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“ Yet each man kills the thing he loves, By each let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword! „

Oscar Wilde

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Where art thou?

Where art thou, indeed? Well my dearest followers (if you are still following) I am still alive and kicking! Unfortunately I have no real justification for leaving the realms of anonymous blogging other than the usual excuse “life got in the way”.
I can honestly say not much has changed (sadly). Readers will be happy or possibly unhappy to be advised that I still remain single and for the third year in a row! In a rather unique way I’m proud and upset at this fact at the same time!

However the desire to start writing again has come back with a vengeance and I will attempt to re-ignite my previous posting prowess!

Hope you are all well.

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06/03/2011

No Public Displays of Affection!When did the world get so lovey-dovey gooey! I think I’m gonna be sick on my shoes!

No Public Displays of Affection!

When did the world get so lovey-dovey gooey! I think I’m gonna be sick on my shoes!

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And the winner is…

#4 - They are keeping me on tenterhooks, playing it cool. It doesn’t make you cool it just makes you annoying! Seriously it takes a few seconds (to a few minutes depending on how much you fancy the person) to send a text. However I’m not going to proceed with radical behaviour, those lingerie self portraits are there for reeling them in once they’re caught on the hook! Even worse I send them and still get no response (self destruct button pressed)!

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